College life is often unpredictable, and enrolling in science was a challenge. Teaching methods, basic human behavior discipline, and subjects that I chose to study became short-lived. It would be a pleasure to be with the Joneses. I was also drawn to the glamour of college life. Every day in class was a fashion show. Boys and girls dressed to the nines, some in designer clothes and others in branded ones. Money spoke volumes about everyone's fashion sense. I could see myself being left behind and could not take it anymore. First, I jumped into the crowd but was rejected. The girls also drew me in, and it was an exciting first-time experience for me. I had just graduated from an all-boys school, so I was still learning how to act around girls. It looks like party season all of a sudden. Books were expensive, tuition was steep, and the food bill was difficult to manage. With so many more constraints on me, it became easier to neglect my work. To be an achiever, one must set aside worldly illusions and focus on a goal. A nagging thought made me realize this, and I began to withdraw from so-called pleasures and focus on the final exams.
The transition from boarding school to college hostel was startling. Personal discipline was not monitored in the same way that it was in school. Instead, I was the master of my actions and duties. Family values were all forgotten, and I began to live a carefree life. Bunking college lectures, sitting in the canteen admiring girls, and making new friends from a diverse range of cultures and habits. No more physical activity, no sports, haphazard eating habits, and a confused mind that allowed me to gain weight, making me lazy and lethargic.
Sexual fantasies became my pastime, and I stopped reading high-quality literature. However, with the encouragement of one of the senior South African students who came after their matric and who knew my family history and father, I was made aware of my slacking in my studies and neglect of the body.
Junior, as I called him, forced me to join the college basketball team and encouraged me to begin painting. Later, he became my mentor, advising me on my career path. I won first place in the college exhibition with a painting I submitted. I remember him and other South Africans carrying me to the stage, singing, and dancing, to accept the award.
I noticed that boys and girls from wealthy families were more focused. They benefited from the comforts of both lives. Having enough money to pay for a proper education made them intellectuals, and living comfortably provided them with a conducive environment in which to progress. This didn't bother me at all. My intention was to obtain a high-quality education, which was inspired by the society from which I came. Junior took me for vocational guidance during the holidays, and my career path was set, and I began to focus on engineering subjects.
I managed to stay above average and was accepted into one of Bombay's top engineering schools. I received a scholarship to complete my engineering studies. Money turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Money was finally recognized as a medium of exchange for me. I began to value the adage "Money is what money does." Money had left a perplexing impression on my mind by this point. At one point, I despised money but developed a strong desire and respect for it because it could provide for my needs.
It must be noted that there was a miracle or a magical spell that took over my life. My respect for that divinity developed into faith, and the word god became obsolete. So, with meditative thought, I wrote that God does not exist. However, a devotee with activated intelligence and stimulated consciousness gives birth to a god, and the existence of a god can be finite for that devotee. Because the word God is fraught with delusions and mysticism, I have rewritten it as; 'Divinity does not exist, but a devotee with activated intelligence and stimulated consciousness births Divinity, and Divinity's existence becomes real for that devotee.'
This was my first attraction to Sanatan Dharma and its teachings. Now I had more faith in my mantra chanting and wanted to be a devotee of this experience. This was what I called prayer, and I later explained it as follows: the goal of the prayer ritual is to stimulate the intellect so that consciousness is activated. This eliminates all dualities from information and facts, and singularity defines the necessary non-contradictory reasoning. When truth stimulates the intellect to accept consciousness as the supreme, consciousness is that truth that defines reality. In layman's terms, one would feel the creator's resonating vibrations, which would create, sustain, and destroy the entities around them. This is humanity's ultimate realization.
My engineering studies began slowly. Hostel life became ingrained in me. I was quick to adjust to changing situations. The majority of university professors were professionals with multiple degrees. Many had doctorates and were intellectuals in scientific fields. I looked up at them and began to learn the fundamentals. The bursary money came in every month and paid for my tuition, food, and books. My father's small sum of money provided for my clothing and a few luxuries. It was, in fact, the reality of fairy tale stories.
Individual viewpoints on religion, race, skin color, food, and, of course, girls with sex were the main highlights of hostel life. We didn't have much time off from school, but playing cards, having a booze party, and watching movies provided a welcome break from our hectic schedule. As engineering students, we were involved in arguments and discussions, which was a helpful foundation for intellectual thinking. The various groups of boys from various cultural and religious backgrounds had a significant impact on many of the dogmatic thinkers. We had boys from many other countries, and with nowhere to go during the holidays, we spent time in hostels with our hobbies or the famous pass time-consuming alcohol and drugs
Many were very intelligent, but many were physically lazy, and some were drug addicts. I noticed that because they had a strict disciplinary life at home, freedom of choice in the hostels, and an opportunity to experience the other side of life, some took advantage of their newfound freedom by neglecting their studies. The mama's boys were always on top.
I remember getting into an argument at one of the booze parties that changed my perspective on religion. It started with a small story and unfolded as follows.
A boat with three men.
The sea became rough while three men were sailing in a small boat. Among those was a Christian who asked the Lord Jesus for assistance. The Lord Jesus appeared and took him away. The other was a Muslim who prayed to Allah for help. So Allah appeared and took him away. When the Hindus saw the two, they began to pray to Bhagwan.
So the narrator continued, saying that the Christians and Muslims were helped, while the poor Hindu drowned, leaving his body afloat. He continued, laughing, that when the Hindu prayed to his Bhagawan, there was confusion in the havens as to who should ascend, Hanuman, Ram, Krishna, or Shiva. Because no one intervened, the Hindu was left helpless and drowned. The narrator stated that Hindus worship many gods and are a befuddled bunch of idiots. Most of these friends came from convent schools where they were taught to mock Hindus.
This statement infuriated all Hindus, resulting in a lengthy debate that lasted several days. It was the holidays, so I spent a lot of time in the library researching the origins of all religions. Surprisingly, Christians had three gods: the father, son, and Holy Spirit. So, who was the real author? In India, Muslims had many graves, and many Muslims prayed to the dead. The material body will remain on earth no matter how great one becomes. Throughout India's history, there is one truth and a multitude of stories that suit the invaders who made India their home. In India, all Christians and Muslims have been converted, and they are constantly instigated against other religions for fear that they will revert. These were some of the outward manifestations of hatred I witnessed among people. In my quest to find one theory to fit all arguments, I laid the groundwork for establishing one theory for all creations in this universe. This was the time when I spent a lot of time researching a book.
The story of the three men in the boat eventually became my investigation case. What exactly is death, and how is a soul related to a living being? Who is God, and what is the meaning of life on Earth? Would divine intervention change the course of death? Was it mysticism or a clever act of disappearance that took the two away? When death was the final end, did the body have any meaning, or should the soul that left and betrayed the body to become lifeless be worshipped?
In a decisive argument, I explained the three planes on which life existed: the mortal, immortal, and divine planes. In the absence of matter, there was a life form that relied on energy and intelligence, and in the absence of energy, there was only intelligence or universal consciousness.
In turn, the two who vanished from the scene were fabricated because there is no way a material body can travel to higher planes. It is a fact that the body was discovered floating in the waters because the soul had left the body and likely been carried away to his chosen destination. In my closing argument, I argued that Hinduism is the only realized logical way of life in which different gods or entities take care of creation, sustenance, and dissolution. To maintain the whole universe, these three activities must take place every moment of the universe's existence. The concept of a creator was finally accepted as my research topic.
Here I realized that I was not following any religion but Dharma. Dharma is one's personal path in life to truth or righteousness, the fulfillment of which leads to consciousness awakening. Religion, on the other hand, is a social society filled with love, hatred, and fear. Everyone in this society follows a code of loving their own congregation, hating others, and frightening those who do not.
So I wasn't practicing any religion other than Dharma. It was when activated intelligence stimulated my consciousness that I realized I didn't need a leader or a religion. "A conscious person has an independent ability to think with logic and reason; it allows the brain to use its installed memories with feedback that eliminates duality to find that one "truth." Because the energy has been activated by the stimulated consciousness, it works as desired, and my choice of the many arts of Sanatan Dharma has made me wiser as they have become my Dharma. This realization required me to awaken the knowledge gatherer in me and to begin hunting for unknown knowledge all around me.
College life is often unpredictable, and enrolling in science was a challenge. I was taken aback by the teaching methods, basic discipline in human behavior, and subjects. The virtuous school habits were short-lived. I had to change to keep up with the Joneses. I was also drawn to the glamour of college life. In class, every day was a fashion show. Boys and girls were dolled up, some in designer clothes and others in branded ones. Money was written all over everyone's faces. I could see myself falling behind and couldn't take it any longer.
First, I jumped into the crowd but was rejected. The girls also drew me in, and it was an exciting new experience for me. I had just graduated from an all-boys school, so I was still learning how to interact with girls. All year long, it was party time. Books were expensive, tuition fees were high, and the food bill was difficult to manage. With so many more constraints on me, it was easy to neglect my work. To be an achiever, one must set aside worldly illusions and focus on a goal. A nagging thought made me realize this, and I began to withdraw from so-called pleasures and focus on the final exams.
The transition from boarding school to college hostel was startling. There was no personal discipline imposed like in school. Instead, I was the master of my actions and duties. Family values were all forgotten, and I began to live a carefree life. Bunking college lectures, sitting in the canteen admiring girls, making new friends from diverse cultures and habits. No more physical activity, no sports, haphazard eating habits, and a confused mind that allowed me to gain weight, making me lazy and lethargic.
Sexual fantasies became my pastime, and I stopped reading scholarly literature. However, with the encouragement of one of the senior South African students who came after their matric and who knew my family history and father, I was made aware of my slackening in my studies and neglect of the body.
Junior, as I called him, forced me to join the college basketball team and encouraged me to begin painting. Later, he became my mentor, advising me on my career path. I won first place in the college exhibition with a painting I submitted. I remember him and other South Africans carrying me to the stage, singing, and dancing, to accept the award.
I noticed that boys and girls from wealthy families were more focused. They reaped the comforts of both lives. Having enough money to pay for a high-quality education made them intellectuals, and living comfortably provided them with a conducive environment in which to progress. This didn't bother me at all. My goal was to get a superior education. Junior took me for vocational guidance during the holidays, and my career path was set, and I began to focus on engineering subjects.
I managed to stay above average and was accepted into one of Bombay's top engineering schools. I received a scholarship to complete my engineering studies. The money came as a surprise. I finally recognized money as a medium of exchange. I began to value the adage "Money is what money does." Money had left a perplexing impression on my mind by this point. At one point, I despised money but developed a strong desire and respect for it.
I must mention that a miracle or a magical spell took over my life, and my respect for that divinity created faith, and the word god became meaningless. So, with meditative thought, I wrote that God does not exist. However, a devotee with activated intelligence and stimulated consciousness gives birth to a god, and the existence of a god is finite for that devotee. Because the word God is filled with delusions and mysticism, I have rewritten this as: 'Divinity does not exist, but a devotee with activated intelligence and stimulated consciousness gives birth to Divinity, and the existence of Divinity becomes finite for that devotee.'
This was my initial interest in Sanatan Dharma and its teachings. Now I had more faith in my mantra chanting and was ready to devote myself to this experience.
My engineering studies began slowly. Hostel life ingrained itself in me. I was quick to adjust to changing situations. The majority of university professors were professionals with multiple degrees. Many of them held doctorates or were intellectuals in scientific fields. I looked up at them and began to learn the fundamentals. The bursary paid for my tuition, food bills, and books every month. My father's small sum of money provided for my clothing and a few luxuries.
Individual opinions on religion, race, skin color, food, and, of course, girls were the main highlights of hostel life. We didn't get much time off from school, but playing cards, having a booze party, and a trip to the movies provided a welcome break from our hectic schedule. As engineering students, we were involved in arguments and discussions that served as a solid foundation for intellectual thinking. The various groups of boys from various cultural and religious beliefs had a significant impact on many of the dogmatic thinkers. We had boys from many other countries. With nowhere to go during the holidays, we spent time in hostels with our hobbies or the famous pastime of drinking alcohol and having a good time.
After nine years of growing up in hostels, I asked my father for a plane ticket so that I could see my family. I was able to see all of them after much explanation. At home, not much has changed. My father was still employed by the same greengrocer. I received the results of my engineering exams and discovered that I had failed. This was the first time I had to deal with failure. I found many valid reasons and worked out an amicable solution, one of which was home sickness. The glamour of the good life also bothered me, and in my pursuit of fame and fortune, I lost sight of the need to prioritize my studies. I was astounded and deeply saddened by my own attitude toward life. "Time does not allow you to own anything, but it does allow you to leave moments and memories behind that are passed down as wisdom," the realization hit me. Money has lost my respect once more.
I noticed that I was drawn to numerology, and after connecting the dots, I realized that the number 9 was associated with me. I was born on March 18, and my room number was 144. Having spent 9 years in India, many other 9's fascinated me, so I took the 9 coincidences on as my lucky associates. The rosary with 108 beads was my ultimate lucky charm, which was mysteriously given to me by a stranger, believe it or not.
Back at home, I was unable to adjust to the loss of time with my family. I discovered that everyone was stuck in a social rut, with fighting in between, laziness, and a waste of money. Nobody seemed to know where I came from. During the holiday season at home, I could no longer bear witness to my parents' anguish. I resolved to return and make a difference in their lives. I knew I needed to educate myself to earn a comfortable living. It was the only way to isolate poverty, and as Epictetus said, "Only the educated are free." I said goodbye to my grandmother, never to see her again, but her blessing lasted and brought me success in the face of adversity. This visit provided a comprehensive understanding of how Europeans invaded Africa, made and took African slaves, and subjected the rest of the non-Europeans, including my family, to slavery due to a lack of formal education. The British brought in Indians to work on sugar cane plantations in South Africa as sugar became a cash crop and money took precedence over human dignity. Shame on European rulers and plunderers!
Back to my studies, but time passed quickly in the real world. I took breaks from my studies by getting involved with girls, also known as the opposite of sex, night clubs, and the pleasures of youth. I realized at this point that I needed someone to love me, care for me, and share my joys and sorrows with. Sex, mating, fantasizing, and one-on-one affection were all animal instincts that I couldn't deny. My holiday adventure served as a foundation for my future, detailed in the following chapter.
Money is so powerful that it can buy love, a relationship, or a sexual favor. Human desires and needs are so compelling that one is willing to exchange such a wonderful relationship for money. Money is the only thing that can make someone happy. All modern gadgets and luxuries can be purchased with it. The temptation was too overwhelming, but money and beauty did not appeal to me. Some heinous incidents warned me of the dangers of losing money in money-making sex scams. One of them is this.
A birthday celebration
Many of my wealthy friends celebrated their birthdays with parties and gatherings of close friends. I was invited to one such party over a long weekend, which took place at a venue known as Aunty Joints.
I was dressed up as usual and arrived ahead of the others. The hostess was a woman with a few pretty girls in a large reception room. The party began with a few birthday formalities and the exchange of gifts, followed by drinks served by sexy-looking girls who were creating the party mood. My friends chose whisky and a local spirit called 'Feni,' a traditional liquor distilled from the fermented juice of cashew apples, while I was served a local cold beer. It is safe to drink because it contains no organic or artificial flavors. The name "feni" comes from the Sanskrit word phena, which means "froth."
I only recall dancing to rock music after the second bear and waking up the next morning sleeping under the carpet. As I walked through the passage, I heard the woman yelling at the rest of my friends to get up and leave. I was terrified, terrified, and perplexed because I had lost track of time. When I saw the door open and heard the women's screams, I rushed out and onto the road to return to the hostel.
On my way to the train station, I noticed that my money purse and watch were both missing. I jumped on the train to my train station, not realizing I had been robbed. I knew how to avoid the ticket checker because it was not the first time I had traveled without a valid ticket.
I returned to the hostel, took a bath, and then began my investigation into what had happened the night before. It was a simple conclusion: our drinks were spiked and we were robbed.
Nobody ever talked about that night out, and I never made it to a party like that again because I lost my entire month's spending money. Seeing a common medicine like Mandrax used as a drug was a positive realization. Mandrax is a small tablet that varies in color and is highly addictive. Mandrax has a sedative effect on the central nervous system. People in India use opium for a variety of reasons, and I witnessed it being used freely under strict supervision by users. For over a millennium, the Ayurvedic and Unani Tibbi medical systems have used opium and cannabis as therapeutic agents. This science was unknown to the West.
The Opium Trade's Economic History
An enlightening history lesson on how and why humans used intoxicating drinks and drugs was learned. India is a land of herbal medicine, and thousands of years ago, extensive research was conducted to medicate the biological body. It was Ayurveda, a natural system of medicine that originated in India over 3,000 years ago. Ayurveda is derived from the Sanskrit words Ayur (life) and Veda (science or knowledge). Thus, Ayurveda translates to "knowledge of life," and it contains a list of powerful Ayurvedic Herbs and Spices with Health Benefits. In India, opium was freely used for medication and relaxing the tired body of physical workers, as well as by spiritualists to calm the mind, body, and soul.
Knowing the effects of addiction and the opportunity to make money, the fact that opium, which was freely grown in India, was regarded as a cash crop. The British East India Company established a monopoly on opium cultivation in the Indian province of Bengal, where they developed a method of cheaply and abundantly growing opium poppies. Other Western countries, including the United States, participated in the trade, which dealt with both Turkish and Indian opium. Who was it that the British gave opium to? Of course, China. Foreign traders (primarily British) had been illegally exporting opium, primarily from India, to China since the 18th century, but the trade grew dramatically after 1820. The resulting widespread addiction in China caused severe social and economic problems. Opium revenue was a significant source of profit for the British in India, accounting for a sizable portion of both total British revenues from India and total Indian exports. It was a brilliant plan devised by the British to enslave slaves through addiction so they could plunder their wealth. The Europeans knew nothing about gold, diamonds, agriculture, and other topics before they arrived on the Asian continent. Because the Asians had a culture and wealth that dated back thousands of years, the Europeans used every strategy possible to weaken the Asians. This was so that they could loot and rule. One of the many tactics was known as the "Opium War" because of one of its major causes: the British smuggled opium into Chinese ports against the Chinese government's wishes. The British were finally known for their cunning, greed, and manipulation to divide and rule other cultures for financial gain. This was a lesson learned in making quick money by addicting people to drugs and alcohol.
The majority of the Aunty-Joints were run by converted Christians where drugs and liquor were freely available. There were many social and disturbing night outs at which drugs and alcohol were abused, and prostitution was promoted. I was looking for a partner in such an environment. I wouldn't deny that I had some gold-diggers, but after being disappointed, I began to look for someone who could read me, love me, care for me, and share my joy and sadness. When I returned home, I agreed to an arranged marriage. My parents found me a partner to marry after I finished my studies, and I eventually agreed.
When I was in India, I got engaged to my mentor's cousin's sister, Junior, who guided and inspired me to pursue my dream of becoming an engineer. He became a medical doctor, and I was convinced that having a mentor was essential when you couldn't rely on your parents for guidance.
Our relationship grew stronger as a result of those love letters. Finally, I found my true love. She also comes from a low-income family. Her father died when she was a child. I could tell she wasn't as well educated as the other girls I met. She was not attractive by the standards we discussed in the hostel and was a high school dropout. "Who was she?" became a question for me to investigate. Daydreaming has always been a free and enjoyable experience. When I received her letters, I read them several times in daylight, forming ideas about how we would live together. I used to scan them before retiring to bed and having sweet fantasies with her in my imaginary world.
As my studies came to an end, I observed my mother, grandmother, sister, girlfriends, and every woman in her. She was the only woman I recognized. Growing up, I only saw women as sexual objects. Fantasizing about a favorite image was common, and as I grew older, I discovered that hostel life was my adventure, where no woman could escape her fantasies.
The final year of engineering was extremely demanding. My tasks were completed, and my exams were completed. I was anticipating that day, one of my friends came running in, banging on my room door. It was the conclusion to which we had all been looking forward. "We've done it." "We got by," he said. I was looking for my name on the notice board in a hurry. My gaze was fixed on my name, which I read over and over. I couldn't believe what I had seen. With tears in my eyes and weakened by the emotional outburst, I collapsed on the floor, trying to contain my emotions. Thank you, divine being, with both of my hands. My cheeks were swollen with tears that streamed down my cheeks. This was the happiest day of my life, as well as my greatest accomplishment. Many times I have mentioned this thought to identify a person who may have had a similar experience. However, it is difficult to locate a person with the same experience. To the readers, may I say that no one will appreciate such an experience unless they have had it?